Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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