I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
