Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Randomize
