if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
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