worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
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We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
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