Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Acid is not a monday night drug
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
Randomize
