when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
