This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
