I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
Randomize
