Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
