Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
Randomize
