My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Randomize
