If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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