Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
