His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Randomize
