pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
