She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
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