her vagine was all disorganized.
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Randomize
