I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
zippers are such a cool invention
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Randomize
