Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
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I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
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