Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
