the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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