fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
