Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
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