i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Randomize
