So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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