The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
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