Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
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