Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Randomize
