oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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