If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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