She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
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dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize