:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
my sisters under your porch take her home
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Randomize
