Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
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