I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
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