so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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