i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
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So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
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