we have pet lesbian snakes
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
