we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
