I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
