He had one of those small greek statue penises
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
