i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
I miss vodka workout Fridays
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
