By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
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