Kareoke will never be a sober sport
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
