He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Randomize
