i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
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