HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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