woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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