guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Randomize
