Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
A+ Viking dick
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
