im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
