Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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