i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
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No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
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During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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