OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
He told me they were just razor bumps!
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Randomize
