Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
worst night to have a conscience
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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