I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
