whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
Randomize
