let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Randomize
