I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
there's paper in my vomit.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
