what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
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i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
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This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
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