Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
Randomize
