I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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