Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
Come see our sink grown plant.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Randomize
