I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
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He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
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We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Brb crying the tears of my youth
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
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