ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
