they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I need a beard to bite.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
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