All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize
