Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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