Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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