You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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