I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
I am in a vortex of obligation.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Please don't give away my fajitas
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
