Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I still have a little drunk in my system
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Randomize
